Char Lake, Resolute, NU, Canada, via Google Maps street view
Ice covers the lake, snow dots the brown hills, and thick clouds hang heavy. My grand-niece complains that it doesn’t even smell like spring yet, but I can’t hear her over my grinning.
It was a Springday just like this when we met. The priests had called the fire bats, swirling and swooping over a different lake ringed in dirty slush. I saw their orange flames reflected in your eyes, your face glowing with joy. Then you turned to me, your gaze more magical than the creatures overhead.
Your beard was flecked with gray then; now it is lighter than my fingers twined into it. Since the accident, I cannot dance as smoothly; you swing me slower, claiming not to notice.
Tonight the fire bats won’t come, but I still see them in your eyes.
I threw the bones that morning. They said my life would change forever.
It did.
Word count: 150. Written for this week’s What Pegman Saw photo challenge. Thanks to Karen and Josh for hosting. To everyone else, please join in — the water’s warm! (Well, metaphorically, at least.) Pegman takes us to a different place on the globe every week, and inspires us to write a story about it in 150 words or less. Click on the link to read the other stories.
Sorry, my friends, that I’ve been offline for a while. My previous post explains a bit about it — I was at Worldcon (whee!) and before that at a long professional conference, and before that, desperately getting work done prior to both events. I’m hoping to participate in more flash fiction challenges and read more blogs this week and next, but then I’ll be traveling again quite a bit in September and early October. My apologies in advance if I don’t see and comment on all my regular blogs!
This is really neat. I like the world you built.
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Thanks, Josh. Breaking with past habits, I’ve actually included something from one of the novels I’m working on — the fire bats. They weren’t involved in the Springday celebrations before, but they fit right in, I think.
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Great to see you back Joy!
Your world building is gorgeous as always–but my favorite part of this piece is the contrast of warmth and cold, the secret spring hiding in the old love. So many lovely & subtle delights!
Thanks for the plug on Pegman–we’d love to see more faces.
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Thanks Karen! I do always try to squeeze a little world building in there along with the characters. I was drawn to the contrast between the weather and her emotions — like the opposite of that weird disjuncture when it’s sunny and bright at a funeral.
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That was a very different take on the prompt than what many of us took.
On a different note, I invoked your name in a different blogpost, so I hope you don’t mind. You’ve probably already seen the pingback.
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I deliberately prompt myself to do that — what’s the obvious take, and how can I switch it around? Sometimes it works better than other times.
And already replied to it. Sorry for hijacking your comments thread with such a long comment! I didn’t realize how long it was until it was there on the page.
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No worries. A good conversation is what I hope for when I bring up these topics. Curious. Did you attend WorldCon strictly as a fan, or do you have some books out there I should be reading?
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I have no books out — yet! — so I’d say somewhere in between: more as an aspiring author, always looking for inspiration and advice about world building and writing. And what better inspiration than seeing how others do it so well?
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That’s a gorgeous love story – not just the meeting, but a lifetime of devotion that continues even beyond physical frailty. I love it!
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Thank you so much, Penny, that’s how I felt too. I was trying to hint (with the gray in his beard) that they’d met later in life and yet still fell in love and shared a lifetime. I’d like to think there’s hope for all of us who are alone to find that special someone. 🙂
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I have broken my rule – because I am kinda stuck on my own story – and read another Pegman! So very glad I did. What a most beautiful love story you have crafted within this special world. Adore. Simply adore.
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Oh, thank you Dale! I know you have a softie romantic streak like I do, so I’m especially glad you liked this one.
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That I do…
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I have to agree with others – a lovely love story. And that memory of the fire bats is so special – the descriptions of the snow over the landscape are concise but perfect. And this chimes with me. I hold a special place in my heart for hawthorn blossom because when I went on my honeymoon it was everywhere, sprinkling the fields, filling the air. Every year when it blooms I’m reminded of being young and in love! As always, a special slant from you, Joy
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Thanks for the lovely comment, Lynn. “Concise but perfect” is exactly what I’m always going for, and only rarely feel I’ve achieved. What a sweet story about the hawthorn blossoms, how romantic! The fire bats are not very romantic on their own (they cause a lot of trouble in my novel), but I loved the idea of the flames reflected in someone’s eyes.
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And even though the fire bats are troublesome, they still remind your character of that meeting, that spark of love. Lovely writing 🙂
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The fire bats probably seem more romantic when the priests are charming them into helping with the ritual than when they are terrorizing your village and setting your house and crops on fire. 😉
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Ah, yes, that sounds about right 🙂 I like the sound of your fire bats – terrifying!
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I see the scene, I see the one telling the story. That’s vivid writing. And I love the detail of the fire bats, which sets the story into another world,
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Thanks Crispina! The original idea didn’t have the fire bats, so I had to ask myself — wait, what makes this fantasy? I already had the fire bats waiting in the wings because they play a role in my Heart in a Box novel (mostly by causing lots of trouble). But I had no idea they played a part in Springday festivities — surprise!
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Oh, that pun! Waiting in the wings? Bats? Yes. 🙂
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He he he he!
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best wishes on your projects nd schedule – and I like the fire bats and the whole piece had a nice energy to it.
The photo you chose was perfect and my vert favorite line was this:
“but I can’t hear her over my grinning”
you had me completely hooked at that point (and I have had those grins before)
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Oh thank you, I was hoping someone would mention that line — it’s my favorite too! I’m glad you though the story had a good energy, too. Thanks for the great comment!
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my pleasure and glad i was able to read all the entries – I hate it when i cannot get to them all and i am truly for the better when I can – so the pleausre was really mine.
hope you have a nice week Joy
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Thanks, you too!
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Dear Joy,
What a wonderful and fantastic world you’ve created with intriguing characters. You leave me wanting to know more about these two. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you for the kind comment Rochelle, I’m so glad you liked it!
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I like the contrast of the cheerful mood and the bleak scene, and the many details gave credence to you world. I especially like the “throwing the bones” which i assume is some kind of divination, though i expect in this world, they might be bat bones.
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Thanks for the nice comment– that contrast was what I was going for, so I’m so glad it worked. I hadn’t thought about using bat bones to do the divination ritual, but why not? Great idea!
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A beautifully crafted story, with the magic of the fire-bats. Nice one.
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Thanks so much, glad you thought so!
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I threw the bones that morning. They said my life would change forever. Love this line.
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Thanks Alicia! I always enjoy hearing about which lines stand out for people.
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Nice story on love of life and land.
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What a lovely comment, thank you!
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Aw, this one makes me a smidge sad. But then, so many love stories have to end to retain their power…
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I’m glad you liked it, Jean – but go back and look again, it hasn’t ended!
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Woops! I took “the accident” to mean someone died–silly me going all dire right away. 🙂
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Whew, luckily, no! I threw that in as a way that they have gotten older and not as spry as when they first met (when they were already later in life, based on his graying beard), but life is still good.
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To be fair, my stories *do* often go pretty dire, pretty quickly. 😉
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