Photo credit: Rachel Lyra Hospodar
Following a new lead, Sharl swept through the shadows, weapon in each hand, unlocking spell readied. She growled, itching to confront him at last.
The rusty door stood half-open. A trap, or she was too late. She squeezed in, immediately leaping to one side.
No movement. No sound. Only that familiar stench. They’d been there.
She risked a finger-light. Empty. Blood stains, yes, but not enough. No… parts left behind.
Where there was no body, there was hope.
She’d find him. If he couldn’t produce her brother, alive and whole, he’d beg for a quick death.
He wouldn’t get one.
Word count: 100. Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers flash fiction challenge. Thanks to our tireless hostess, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, who also provided the original prompt photo, below. Click on the link to write your own story or poem of up to 100 words, and to read the other entries!
Sorry for going a bit gruesome this week. I blame being down off and on for six days with stomach flu, or possibly food poisoning. At one point I thought I had a bad case of Alien about to burst through my stomach, but apparently my immune system is strong enough to kill an alien egg. Go natural defenses!
Photo © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Tales from Eneana 
Tense with such deft world-building. Wonderfully done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I try to throw in at least a hint in every story that we’re not in Kansas anymore — thanks for noticing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whewh! A Suspense Novel in 199 words! Cool
LikeLiked by 1 person
You mean 100! 😉
LikeLike
Thanks, I did try to pack a lot in there — thanks for your comment! (And oh yeah, if I had actually had 199 words I could have done so much more!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
On the other hand, if you had 199 words, the Cranky Purple Fairy Blog Mother would’ve put a spell on your post. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent point – I wouldn’t want to make the Fairy Blog Mother cranky!! 😀
LikeLike
So intense. My stomach was knotting as I read (and sorry yours truly was in knots!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dale, glad it worked for you, I’m happy to be no longer in stomach-knots — except occasionally of the “story suspense” kind!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great, suspenseful tale there. The man she’s hunting better look out – I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of her form of justice. Nicely written Joy
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lynn — I don’t think of myself as a suspense writer, but I seem to be veering that way more and more lately. Yeah, the bad man chose the wrong victim this time; he deserves this sister’s brand of justice. Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a great tool for a fantasy wrier to have in her armoury – nice to rank up the tension every once in a while and you are good at it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lynn, that’s a very nice thing to hear. 🙂
LikeLike
Heh, loved the last line! Great story 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, she’s not feeling in a forgiving mood — and really, who would be? Thanks for reading, Ali!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sure , she will hunt him down . What is her special skill though?
Great story , as always . I am sorry about the absence.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, she’s good with weapons and apparently good with tracking and also can cast magical spells, so it seems like she’s got a lot of skills! I was imagining her as some type of assassin or specialty fighter. Thanks for stopping by!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great suspense scene, begs to have the confrontation written when she finally catches up with him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the suspense part better than the straightforward fight scenes part, myself. But yeah, seeing the bad guy get what he deserves does sound satisfying. Thanks for the comment, Iain!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Power write.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Assuming you mean powerful, thanks! Although now I’m thinking of “power write” like “power nap” — hm, not a bad idea, really . 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I wished to convey great word-smithy and a well crafted plot. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
In that case, thanks and thanks!
LikeLike
Wonderfully tense. Me thinks “he” has chosen the wrong adversary. Kudos
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes exactly, Alicia – the bad man has made a very, very bad choice of victim this time. Glad you liked it, thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the tension of this one. I was on edge from word one, and totally into it. I hope she gets her man, and her brother back. I’m kinda wondering though, how could she cast spells with weapons in both hands?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Eric, glad it hit you that way! And you’re right, she has the spell prepared, but she’d need to put one of her weapons down in order to cast it (not true for all spells, but true for this one).
LikeLiked by 1 person
you’re so good at keeping me hanging by the thread. i want more…. i want more…. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a nice compliment, thank you! Unfortunately, there’s no more to give you in this case. The rest of the story sounds far too gruesome and distressing for me to think about, much less write. Suffice it to say, she gets the bad guy and he gets what he deserves, and her little brother is traumatized but otherwise unharmed, the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope she has found her brother and that you are on the mend
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Michael. I am happy to say I feel much better now (albeit extra-stressed since my work did not magically do itself while I was incapacitated). I like happy endings, so I’m going to say that she found her brother and it all worked out as well as could be hoped. Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nice ending, chilling!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, glad you liked it!
LikeLike
This is incredibly atmospherics, even more so when I read it for a second time. Excellent as ever.
Click to read my FriFic
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much, Keith, I’m happy to hear I inspired a second read, how nice!
LikeLike
Good one, Joy. Hope Sharl finds him and soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get the feeling she will, and the Bad Man will have hell to pay. Thanks for reading!
LikeLike
Dear Joy,
I have to echo the others. An interesting world you’ve built here. Ominous ending for one and satisfying revenge for another. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Rochelle, glad you liked it! Yes, I do like to see the Bad Man (or Bad Woman) get caught and punished. It doesn’t happen nearly as much as it should in real life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could imagine it all happening right before my eyes. Superbly imagined and deftly written. I hope she found her brother whole and alive. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so happy it had that effect for you. Thanks so much for commenting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Intriguing. Wish there were more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a lovely compliment when a reader wants more, thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well Written
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLike
I think there is revenge to come… love how you used that scent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! And you’re right: the guilty will be punished. I’ll leave it to you to decide what the stench is, and why it’s familiar. 😉
LikeLike
Very nice. That last line is not messing around.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! Yeah, Sharl is definitely not someone to be trifled with.
LikeLike
What a great scene, I love how the tension builds. And the end is perfect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been working on getting better at tension, so I really appreciate you saying that, thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooh, what a a suspenseful story. Revenge is such a powerful motive to explore in stories, and this could be the beginning of an ongoing tale – or, perhaps, the end of one. Great imagery, and I love that intriguing phrase: “Only that familiar stench”. Very well written, Joy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree — although right now her main motive is to rescue her brother. And *then* revenge, and lots of it! I liked the stench line too; always trying to remember to use more sensory clues in my stories. Thanks for reading, Millie!
LikeLike