Photo © Kecia Sparlin
When the snake at the crossroads spoke, Arendae was strangely unsurprised.
“Your fortune awaits in the city, Arendae.”
She recited familiar arguments. “I cannot abandon my mother.”
“She ran the mill alone before. She can do so again.”
“Who will take it over?”
“The mill is her child. She must raise it.”
“It means leaving Garran.” She could hardly imagine it.
“If you were going to marry, you would have by now. Let him find someone who returns his love full-heartedly.”
Arendae squeezed worry through fisted fingers. “What if I’m not good enough?”
The snake hissed. “If you have not the courage, stay home.”
Arendae described the dream to her mother, seeking guidance.
Her mother said only: “I see.”
“Is the snake not Dyphental, luring me toward greed and selfishness?”
“Or perhaps Celuturne, Lady of Passages, saying you’ve outgrown this village and must shed your skin.”
Arandae shifted beneath her cairn of indecision. “Which is true?”
“Only you can tell.”
In the morning, Arendae began peeling off her old life, feeling exposed, vulnerable, and… free.
Word count: 175. Written for this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers photo prompt. Big thanks to Priceless Joy for hosting, and for Kecia for providing the photo. Click here to read the other stories or to submit your own.
Tales from Eneana 
She has a very understanding mother. I really like how she “peeled” off her old life as though a snake peeling off its skin. Great story!
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That’s exactly how I was hoping it would come across, so I’m glad it did. Thanks for reading, PJ!
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My pleasure!
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Thanks for sharing this take on the prompt; I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. You’re so good at creating such a strong image of the settings and characters in so few words.
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Thank you so much for stopping by and reading, and leaving such a lovely comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Great allusions in play here. Loved the interplay between the protagonist and her mother and before that with the snake. Well done.
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Glad that came across well. Thanks for the nice comment!
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Terrific take on the prompt and how difficult it is knowing which decision is the right one.
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So glad you liked it, James. And yes, indecision can be a real weight on your heart.
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I am spell bound! 🙂🙂🙂
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Uh-oh, watch out — in one of the other stories, the snake was hypnotizing people to do its will! But seriously, thanks for reading, and glad you liked it!
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I more than loved it . You are so talented!
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Whatever talent I might have gets me halfway to the first draft, maybe. After that? I’d hate to admit how long it takes me to refine it down to what I actually post. That’s the (not so) secret: practice and hard work, and hopefully getting better slowly year by year.
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The cairn of indecision, what an interesting phrase! That’s multi-leveled, makes me think of cairns I happen upon in the wilderness that are often useful, but still make you freeze and kind of debate things. Also the phrase squeezing worry through her fist is good. Tasty, true to form.
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Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a great comment, Bill. I was thinking of the ancient burial cairns, where people piled rocks over graves, presumably to keep predators from digging up the bodies. Which led me to think of indecision this way, where she is piling up stone after stone atop herself, each time making it even harder to move in either direction. Thanks for mentioning the squeezing worry phrase; I fiddled with that one quite a bit until I got it the way I liked it, so I’m extra pleased that it worked.
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Ah, I hadn’t thought of that kind of cairn. That’s neat…was lucky, I got to see some of those sites in Scotland on the Orkney Islands once. That’s some “heavy shit,” so to speak…stone by stone. Cool stuff. Bill
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Scotland is on my bucket list. I’d better go soon, while my knees will still permit me!
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Beautiful story, Joy. The description in this piece is amazing: Arendae squeezed worry through fisted fingers…Arandae shifted beneath her cairn of indecision…Arendae began peeling off her old life…Such evocative imagery 🙂
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Thanks, Sammi, for reinforcing my tendency to spend too long fine-tuning each piece — my first draft didn’t have any of those lines, until I deliberately tried to “describe it up”. 🙂
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I would never trust a snake, but hopefully it has helped her make the right choice here. Good stuff.
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If you came from a culture where snakes were known to be wise, rather than sneaky, maybe you’d have a different take. You know me, always looking for the spin. Thanks for reading, Iain!
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Would like to hear you riff on how Christianity upended the snake symbol from its predecessors (or competition). That stuff interests me. I also think we have innate fear of animals with different structures than us (snakes, spiders). I like to think they’re wise, informants.
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I never remember enough of what history I read to be able to make those arguments intelligently. It’s certainly reasonable to propose that we have an innate fear of animals that can hide in the grass and bite us if we step on them and might be poisonous! But I think you’re right, it’s the structure too: maybe what’s creepy is that they move differently than we do (although we don’t seem to be bothered by that with quadrupeds). And lobsters and crabs sure move funny, but we don’t think of them as sneaky or creepy. Okay, I’m going back to the Hide + Poisonous = Evil argument.
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Definitely like the shedding of her old life image! Nice story that could be much more.
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Glad you liked the imagery — thanks for reading, Mark!
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The tale matches the prompt perfectly in tone and texture.
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Thanks for saying so! I was telling myself I didn’t have time for another flash challenge this week, but then I saw the photo and just couldn’t say no.
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This is lovely.
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Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!
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Great writing. I enjoyed this, with its metaphors.
The Lesson
Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~
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Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for stopping by!
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I enjoyed this in the sens that the you didn’t use the snake as we All most typically did, a sight of evil. Rather, the snake dream was about choices for this young woman, of shedding her worries, her past, such as a snake sheds its skin. It’s a very effective comparison.
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I as deliberately trying to get away from the theme of the evil snake in the garden of Eden, which I expected would be what most people would initially think of. In Eneana, the snake *is* associated with a couple of the evil gods too, but I chose this one instead. I’m so glad that came across — thanks for commenting, Amanda!
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A lovely descriptive piece with great dialogue. The comparison between a snake shedding its skin and Arendae ‘peeling off’ her past life is excellent. The fact that Arendae doesn’t know the name and character of the snake is also interesting and begs for further hints in future Eneana stories.
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Thanks Millie, great insight! Yes, the snake is associated with more than one deity, as are many other animals. So people have to use their best judgement about who they’re talking to in their vision — as well as whether it was just their own imagination in the dream or a “true vision”.
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