Photo credit: Waferboard (modified)
The house on the other side of the fence been empty since it happened. Never thought nobody would live there again. The gods know I’d never step foot inside.
Then we heard noises last night, someone over there. Braed snuck out to spy under the fence, even with Ma whispering not to. Like polite got anything to do with this. Then, soon as he come back, she makes him tell all.
“They got weird torches,” he said. “Not as bright as normal, somehow.”
“Who cares about that? What about the people?” Ma slapped him, to speed up the tale.
“Couldn’t see none of them clear. It was dark or… I don’t remember?” Braed shook his head, like he had water-ear. “But their voices…” Braed shivered and hugged himself, wouldn’t say no more.
Today we got braver and went round the fence to see. There’s this fancy cart outside, and horses whinnying in the barn. But nobody around outside, and the shutters all closed up tight.
Quiet folk, that’s good, right? So why am I shaking?
Word count: 175. Inspired by this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers challenge. This close to Halloween, I keep going to the creepier stories without even meaning to!
Big thanks to Priceless Joy for hosting, and for Yinglan for providing the original photo prompt, below. Click here to see the other stories.
Photo © Yinglan Z
I love your take on the fffaw pic. Who knew this mundane image had so much drama packed into it? 🙂
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Thanks! Oh, there’s no such thing as an image too mundane that you can’t find some drama lurking behind it. 😉
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True. Though this image certainly challenges the imagination. you’re welcome
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Very spooky, though I felt like more was going on that hasn’t been written yet. Looking forward to more!
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Thanks! I’m sure there could be a really creepy story behind all of this — like, what happened in that house before? And why did these people move in? And are they even people? Ooo! I haven’t determined the answers to those questions, but if I do decide to write a sequel, I have some icky ideas. 😉
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Very creative take on the picture. I enjoyed it. 🙂
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Thank you Yinglan! I tried to incorporate as many of the elements from your modern picture in my non-modern story as I could, glad you liked it!
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My pleasure. 🙂
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That’s Creepy! Really creepy! Nicely written Joy, a great build up and leaving lots to our imaginations
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Thanks, Lynn! That’s one of the things I like about writing flash fiction (as opposed to my novel) — I don’t have to figure out exactly what’s happening, just hint and leave it to *your* imagination. 😉
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Haha! Absolutely. That’s what scuppers me sometimes when I write a flash where the story leads to a gripping / mysterious finale and people say ‘What happens next?’ I usually don’t have a clue, though it’s often something bad 🙂
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I do have to think it through enough to be sure I’m not painting myself into a corner, suggesting something that really couldn’t exist in Eneana. But there’s usually *some* way around the rules. For example, there’s no such thing as vampires in Eneana (although there might be myths about similar creatures). But there are plenty of other undead, and you don’t have to be a vampire to have some evil reason for collecting people’s blood. 😉
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Always best to think these things through first – or you can star something that can’t be satisfactorily finished. Oh, those twisty plots 🙂
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Exactly!
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🙂
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Creepy, or maybe there’s an innocent explanation for it all? Nice atmosphere and dialogue.
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Nah, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing innocent about this. 😉 Thanks for stopping by, Iain!
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Great story Joy! It has great build up of questioning of wanting to know what is going on on the other side of the fence!
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Thanks PJ! I’m not certain what’s happening over there, but it’s nothing good, that’s for sure. 😉
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Hahaha! Great story Joy!
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I guess you are getting ready for Halloween! A very creepy tale indeed one that I really enjoyed 🙂
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Glad you liked it, Angie! I haven’t been deliberately writing Halloween-type stories but looking back, I guess I’ve just been in that mood!
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Great story, Joy. The atmosphere that you have built around it is chilling. Loved it! 🙂
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I don’t feel very confident about my ability to write “chilling” so I really appreciate you saying so!
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Great, creepy take! Enjoyed reading it! 🙂
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Thanks for the positive feedback! I’m starting to feel I might be getting better at this “creepy” thing. Either that, or you folks are just being super nice, which I’m also okay with. 🙂
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Haha! ‘Creepy’ is definitely your thing but I’m good with us being super nice as well! 😄
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Both could be true, you’re right. 🙂
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Brilliant spooky tale.
Quiet but eerie neighbours hmmm …
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed it! I have the feeling these folks are going to spy one too many times on their new quiet neighbors…
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Very eerie. But compelling story. You make a visual of the moment before a horror movie goes wrong. Checking out the cart, no one there, those weird torches and them . . . Great piece!
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Thanks Amanda! Yes I think you’re right — after this scene, I’m guessing the movie gets much worse for our characters. 🙂
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