Photo credit: Ninad Chaudhari
Every morning I watched Ajač take his father’s cart to the fields, empty. Every night he headed back, his cart laden with gourds, the wheels and oxen’s hooves cutting deeper into the wet sand.
Last week he didn’t return. I found the cart, half-submerged under the tide, the gourds scattered, floating. No oxen. No Ajač.
Some bones washed up. Not all of them.
Ajač took the beach path to avoid the road’s dangers. He might have fared better against human thieves.
I helped his father salvage what remained, but I won’t get that close to the water again. Not alone.
Word count: 100. Inspired by this week’s Friday Fictioneers photo challenge. Thanks as always to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting! And also to Janet Webb for this week’s photo prompt, below. Click here to see the other stories.
Photo © Janet Webb
Atmospheric and creepy. Great work
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Thanks, glad you liked it!
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This is well-written.
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Thanks for commenting Robert, I appreciate it!
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Great story, Joy. There is an almost haunting tone to it. Loved it! It’s so interesting to see how you use these modern photo prompts in your tales of Eneana.
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Thanks Sammi, glad you enjoyed it! This one was relatively easy, in that at least there are carts in Eneana, if not grocery carts. And, of course, seas and beaches. I spent far too much time looking for a photo though — I thought for sure there would be one of a primitive enough cart abandoned near a beach or lake, but nope. I couldn’t even find a color photo of any non-modern cart near water. I’m glad I was using my new technique, which is to *first* find a photo which is close enough to the challenge photo but still fits Eneana and only then write the story that fits that version.
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I love this take very much.
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Thank you!
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Nicely crafted 🙂
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Thank you!
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This is a great tale, with interesting (!) characters, even if you only give us a glimpse of them. I love the photo you found, it’s beautiful and perfect for the story. And the last line is giving the sea an added feel of danger, even more than unpredictable tides can evoke. Who knows what’s waiting there, in Eneana’s oceans?
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Thanks Gabi! You are too kind about the characters, but I appreciate it. And yes, the last line is hinting at…. MONSTERS! Some of the legends about what monsters live in that sea are downright terrifying. Gee, I hope they’re not all true! (hehehehe)
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Dear Joy,
Nice and atmospheric piece.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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I love this! I’ve always been afraid of flash fiction. I never know how to make a scene, let alone an arc, with so little. Do you enjoy writing flash fiction often?
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I was pretty baffled when I started writing flash fiction, but it seems easier with practice. I try to do at least two or three challenges a week, although I’ve been slacking off a bit lately (seven in the last four weeks, I just counted). It’s a fun way to give little glimpses of my world, and to be inspired to create more details for that world. Plus it feels wonderful, when I’m slogging through this never-ending novel manuscript and endless revisions, to be able to *finish* something and post it!
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Oooh, yes, good point! That’s one of the reasons I like blogging as much as I do: it’s a challenge for my brain, and it’s something that I both start AND finish. Hooray for finishing!
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Yes, exactly! I’m a huge fan of finishing. 🙂
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Fantastic piece!
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Thank you! And thanks for commenting!
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Nice one! Poor guy, avoids one danger only to fall foul of another.
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Thanks Ali! Yeah, maybe shouldn’t have gotten quite so close to the sea. You never know what’s lurking in the water….
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That sent a chill down the spine. Poor guy. 😦 Gone without a goodbye.
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Thanks! Yeah, not such a happy ending for poor Ajač. But that’s how it is for a lot of people in a world like this (low tech and filled with magic and monsters) — they just disappear. At least this time, his family knew he was dead.
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How terrible for him to drown. Your world is a tough place at times 🙂
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Yes, it can be a dangerous place for the unwary, and the unlucky. I’m not sure it’s any consolation, but I’m pretty sure he was killed by whatever came out of the sea before he had a chance to drown.
Thanks for commenting, Amanda!
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you continue to amaze me. well done.
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Aw, thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
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My imagination’s working overtime, wondering what’s out there in the water! For this ‘creature’ (or whatever) to leave only bones, it must be particularly lethal. Very well written. Joy.
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There are at least two possibilities, but the most likely is a creature that resembles a giant anemone, with very long tentacles that resemble seaweed. Just imagine, every time you feel a bit of seaweed with your foot, it might suddenly grab you, paralyze you with its venom, and pull you down to its mouth and eat you. You might drown before you’re eaten, if that’s any consolation. (Shiver!)
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Now you really have put me off going near the sea. I already have a shark phobia when I’m out there snorkelling! Now I have to look out for tentacles, too. Lol!
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Luckily for the people of Eneana, these creatures are not that prominent, and don’t usually come so close to shore. And luckily for us on Earth, they don’t exist at all — that I know of! (cue scary music)
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Ha ha! Very lucky!
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Amaing storytelling, I really enjoyed this.
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*Amazing…silly typo. 🙂
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Thank you for the nie – I mean, nice — comment. 🙂 (I make typos all the time, and they always look just fine until *after* I hit that stupid reply button, argh!)
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