Some walls are built up stone by stone. Others word by word.
“The wall may be crumbling, but it still keeps the peasants out.”
Jaenna’s mother had been saying that since she was a child. The wall was even more dilapidated now.
Jaenna could relate.
A poor lord made for a lonely manor. And a daughter past her prime.
Jaenna gazed out her window, over the wall, at the farmer woman. Ridel. She’d first seen Ridel when they were both girls. They grew up together. Ridel marrying, having babies, working, being useful. Jaenna here, alone, at the window.
Jaenna had never spoken to Ridel. Nobles don’t talk to peasants. Her mother insisted.
Jaenna watched Ridel work in her yard. She felt herself sinking into her stool, hardening there, dying slowly from lack of interest.
Suddenly, she stood. She would go through the gate, all by herself. She would approach Ridel and say… What do you say to a stranger? Jaenna balked.
Her feet didn’t move. She stared at Ridel. Doing this. Now doing that. Now going inside.
Jaenna sat. The wall was stronger than it looked.
My entry for this week’s Friday Fictioneers challenge — Thanks to Rochelle for organizing it! And to David Stewart for the actual (contemporary) photo prompt:
Click on the blue frog to see the other authors’ stories!
Oh crud. I just realized I mixed up which flash fiction rules I was supposed to be following on this one — my bad! This was supposed to be a 100-word story, not a 175. Sorry!
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Dear Joy,
You won’t be ostracized for going over the word limit. 😉 I have to admire those of you who take part in more than one challenge a week. I’m doing good to write one.
There’s more than one wall in your story. The ones made without stones and mortar are the hardest to scale. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for understanding, Rochelle! Glad you liked the story. I was thinking of how castles often have an inner wall and outer wall (the real stone kind), and trying to get across that double meaning.
As far as doing more than one challenge… can you say “procrastination”? It’s a great excuse for not working on my other ongoing stories and novel. Oh look, another challenge prompt, whee!
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I like the symbolism. Castle walls keep both people out and trap those within, just like subjecthood. What about glass castles then?
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Yes, exactly. Glass castles sound even worse — at least for those safe/trapped inside, on full view of those outside. Luckily for the people of Eneana, glass technology is not that advanced. However, with *magic* such a thing would certainly be possible. Hm….
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She’s built a wall inside herself, that one needs work before it crumbles, too. I love this, so many layers.
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Thank you! And her mother helped her build that wall too — I tried to hint about all her ideas of how her daughter is better than the peasants and should be kept separate.
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Yes, that came over clearly. The daughter’s wall isn’t as solid as the mother would have wished. I wonder which wall the peasant woman built for herself. There is a lot to think about in your story.
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I could really feel Jaena’s longing here.
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Thanks! I could too. It started to depress me, so I think I need to write a happier story next. Unfortunately the next story that wants to come out is just as sad as this one, ugh.
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It’s a metaphorical wall that’s the problem I think. It must be hard to shake so many years of upbringing and learned behaviour. Nice story!
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Thanks! And yes, upbringing can have such a strong effect, and can backfire even when parents are acting with the best intent.
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Like the others, I like the metaphor. Keeping others out, keeps yourself trapped in.
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Thank you! I love it when I have to wrestle a metaphor to the ground but then it actually works. Yay!
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This is wonderful Joy! It shows how we can erect walls within ourselves that keep out love and friendship. Great message!
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Thanks, Joy! I wish it had some better advice about how to break down those walls (since she doesn’t seem able to, not yet), but a cautionary tale can be useful that way, too.
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Oh yes, absolutely it can be useful.
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Psychological walls are stronger than physical ones. Interesting setting.
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Yes, they can be! And if you like this setting, you might like some of my other stories, all set in the same world (plug plug plug, lol).
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🙂 I will have to come back and check them out.
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Your story really pulled me in!
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Thanks — glad you liked it!
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I like the way you’ve given a mental block “legs”.
Good piece.
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Thanks! And great double meaning there: If only she could get past her mental block and get her legs to move.
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Subtle take on the prompt – well done.
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Thank you — when I saw the dilapidated wall with the house beyond, my first thought was whether the wall was keeping the viewer out or keeping the inhabitants protected inside. It fascinates me how the various writers involved take the same prompt and go in so many different directions with it!
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i had to read several times not because i didn’t understand it the first time but because i kind of enjoy reading it.
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Thank you, what a gratifying thing to hear!
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I absolutely loved this flash. Yes the walls that are built up inside us are often the most difficult to break down. It also showed that it is so important to have purpose and with purpose your life is great no matter what class or society you are born into.
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Thank you so much! And I’m so glad you noticed the part about purpose. For me, the saddest line was the noblewoman sitting and watching while her peasant neighbor was doing all those normal things, and “being useful.”
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Yes it would be heartbreaking not having any usefulness in life. I’ve never envied royalty for exactly that reason.
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I hope she breaks through the wall someday. This story has such contemporary relevance. There are so many people that need to look beyond the walls that they’ve built around themselves, barriers of income, ethnicity, religion….
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Thank you for saying so! Yes, I do hope to make my stories resonate, that even though they take place in a completely different world, the same kinds of people live there. Another story that deals with the racial barriers in this world a little more is From the Table’s Eye part 5 — check it out if you have the time (you don’t have to read the previous ones to understand this one).
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A nicely written story. There are so many walls in like, both to scale or break through. I like the way you’ve dealt with this.
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Oops, that shoul be ‘in life’ – not ‘in like’! Another typo under my belt. 😀
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