In which we learn the dangers of finding more than was sought… Also, of quitting wizard school before being trained very well.
This is my story in response to this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction. Click on the blue frog below to read some of the other writers’ takes on this photo of Roman ruins!
Daen tossed yet another rusted nail and glared at Ellin. “Can’t you focus it so you only detect gold?
Eyes still closed, Ellin turned away, waving his hand slowly around the old ruins. “Don’t break my concentration. And no, it’s all metals.”
Daen snorted. “Can’t believe Father spent so much and you still can’t tell treasure from trash.”
The youngest brother pouted. He’d never get Guild training now.
Ellin pointed. “There!”
The three lifted the stone slab off the central fire pit, grunting in unison.
Something sparkled under the top layer of dirt. A decorative gold chain, shockingly shiny after being buried this long. Daen pulled. “It’s stuck. Keep digging.”
Oma found the bones first. He leapt backwards.
Daen laughed. “The dead won’t begrudge us a bracelet.” Daen untangled it from the skeletal wrists and stood, appreciating its weight in his hands.
Ellin leaned closer, examining the embedded gems. “This must be worth a fortune.”
Oma frowned. “What do you suppose that strange writing is?”
Behind them, the skeletal hand moved. Flexed. Ah, finally unfettered. The dirt fell from her bones as she stood, the jade amulet clanking against her ribs. The boys froze in fear.
Good. She was hungry.
Word count: 200
Haha excellent. Great story
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Thanks! And thanks for the great photo inspiration, too.
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You’re welcome. They have a sign that says no photography, but when I said it was a pity I couldn’t take photos, they said it was generally as a deterrent for magazines.
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NICE! 🙂
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Thanks!!
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Awesome! LOL, those kids deserved it! They were going to take jewlery off the dead without a care in the world!
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Yep, and the oldest one must be old enough to know better (it takes a while to learn even that one detection spell). And if that golden chain had been only jewelry, they might have gotten away with it too.
Thanks!
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Thanks Joy!
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Great story. You had me intrigued from the title.
-David
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Thanks — I struggled with that blankety-blank title half as long as the rest of the story, I think, so that’s a very gratifying comment to hear.
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Sometimes the title is the hardest part. This one is a definite winner.
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Liked your story and especially how it ended. Great twist. 🙂
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Thanks! I was inspired by all the twist endings I’ve been reading on other writers’ flash fiction pieces.
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In Egypt, we know how to deal with grave robbers.
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Yep, I imagine that if the real-world Egypt could have used undead grave guards, they would have! In this particular case though it’s not so much a punishment for grave robbing as the predictable consequences of freeing a deadly monster. Oops.
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Creepy story that reminds me of the great Indiana Jones & pirate movies from the 1980s. I love the way you drop in just enough detail to let our imaginations fill in the rest!
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Thanks! I was trying to be a little spookier than usual. Too bad Indiana Jones wasn’t there with them; he might have known who this mysterious figure was, and recognized the importance of the golden chain before removing it and freeing her.
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A clever story, Joy. I like the interaction between the characters and the ending is excellent. The image of the rising skeleton is hilarious.
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Thanks Millie! Hilarious, spooky, I’ll take either one. I think how that last bit comes across depends on how sympathetic the reader is with those three brothers, because obviously things are not going to end well for them!
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No it probably isn’t going to end well for them, and I do sympathise with their plight. But, somehow, the skeleton moving and standing struck me as funny. I know it’s because similar incidents have been used in comedy films and cartoons. I’m sure you intended it to be more spooky (or terrifying) than that. Either way, it made a great ending to your story.
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